We're Going to be OK
by adubbs47
Summary: "It is perfectly okay to admit you're not okay." An angst filled Olicity One Shot; Established Olicity with kids


**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow or DC Comics. I also am not medically inclined therefore I have been conducting my own set of research and basing a lot of information from this story on my own personal experience. **

**AN: So this little one-shot is definitely an angsty one, so if you are not interested in something heavy please do not read. This is meant to be a one shot, however I could be persuaded to continue this at some point. For those of you who have read my other works, don't worry, I have not given up on The Clouds are Clearing (The next few chapters are coming soon). I have been working on this story for a couple months, and finally sat down to finish it. Also, I went with the Oliver's son is Connor Hawke story line in this piece. **

**We're Going to be OK**

The phone call came at four fifty-eight exactly while Connor sat on the couch in her office finishing his math homework as Maddie was drawing the puppy that she planned to ask Oliver for when he was finished with his meeting.

Oliver - who was supposed to be watching them while Felicity wrapped up her end of the year report - brought the children to Felicity's office at four o'clock before an emergency meeting with a potential client. Connor, who was spending the week with them while his mother was at a conference, had enjoyed escorting his baby sister to Felicity's office with Oliver close behind them. Connor was incredibly mature for his young age of twelve which Felicity attributed mainly to his mother and her own strength as a single mother.

Connor always made time to play with Maddie even though she enjoyed tea parties and dress up more than the video games Connor always brought with him. Connor also always held Maddie's hand no matter where they were going and never rolled his eyes when Maddie gave him her signature sloppy kisses.

Felicity remembered looking up at the clock when the phone rang, wondering if it was Oliver saying he was going to be late, and that they should just head home without him, but it wasn't Oliver. The seven digits displayed on her office phone were that of her doctor's office.

She hadn't been feeling well the past couple of weeks – months if she were being honest - and didn't want to say anything, but when Oliver began commenting on her sudden weight loss, she had no other choice but to confront the possible truth of what she had been scared to admit.

It started with the occasional spotting in between her cycles, which with all the recent changes in their lives - including but not limited to Maddie's new preschool schedule and updates that had to happen both at QC and in the lair, not to mention Roy nearly being taken to the ER when an isolated explosion left him with a handful of shrapnel in his right arm (Diggle had been able to remove all the pieces, but his recovery was touch and go)-things had been a bit stressful.

Felicity had a lot on her plate, but she was doing better at keeping track of her own health. She worked out in the lair in between missions, she ate healthy, and she took her vitamins. The weight loss was easy to ignore and the dizziness she sometimes felt was always excused away by dehydration or from occasionally skipping a meal.

She hadn't been sick since she had been pregnant with Maddie, and even that was just a mild case of the flu. Then the spotting turned to occasional cramping, and the cramping became more intense causing Felicity to break out into light sweats. She hid it well, all the while telling herself that it was nothing and that Oliver didn't need to know. She didn't want to worry him for nothing.

Once Oliver did notice and Felicity disclosed what had been happening on and off over the past two months, Oliver insisted that she book an appointment with her doctor the next day if possible. He would cover all her meetings himself if he had to, just as long as she took care of herself.

He had looked into her eyes and laid his hands on her shoulders, their trademark move as Connor would say, and told her how lost he would be if something were to happen to her. He kissed her forehead and told her he loved her before pulling her into a tight hug that reminded Felicity of all those after mission embraces that they had shared over the years – the hugs that were always a little too tight and left her skin burning with need to be closer to him than physically possible.

It still amazed her how far they had come in just a few short years. They had gone from strangers, to partners, to lovers in such a short time span, and some days Felicity wasn't even sure how they got there.

She was just glad they did.

So when her phone rang, with a number that shouldn't have called her for at least a week (_a week was how long they took to get normal test results back, right?_) she felt her stomach bottom out. Connor looked up from his homework, as if he sensed the shift of energy in the room, with a smile that was all too much like his father – confident and assured. Felicity swore ever since she met Connor Hawke that he was just like his father. He looked more like his mother, but his actions and mannerisms were all Oliver Queen.

"Felicity, are you going to get that?" He asked as his voice cracked - a sure sign that he wasn't the little boy she met four years ago when she was pregnant with Maddie.

She hadn't even been four months pregnant when an eight year old Connor showed up on their door with a blue backpack slung over his shoulders and a red baseball cap on his head.

He told Felicity, who was the only person home at the time, that his mother never lied to him and when he asked about his long absent father she told him who his father was. Felicity listened as the boy in front of her weaved a story about having to meet his dad so he could ask him to the father-son little league game that upcoming Sunday. Connor never knew the lies that hid him away from his father, or the pain that his arrival unearthed for a in the dark Oliver.

Felicity knew about the 'miscarriage' that Oliver's one night stand, Sandra, had many years earlier. He had told her one night before they were married about the feeling of both relief and regret after hearing the news. Oliver had thought at the time that maybe that baby could have turned him around and made his life better. It was a selfish wish from a selfish boy, but it made him realize now that one day he did want kids, with Felicity.

"Yeah, sorry," She shook the memory out of her head as she reached across the desk to pick up the handset.

The phone call was not what Felicity was expecting, although she wasn't sure what she expected. Her doctor was succinct and to the point as he told her the test results came back positive for complex hyperplasia of the endometrium with atypia that appeared to be invasive based on her internal exam.

When she asked what that meant there was a sharp intake of breath on the other end, almost like he hesitated being the one to give her this news.

"Cancer."

It was one word that seemed to form a thick fog within the recesses of Felicity's mind. How could one word do that? How could one word become its own sentence? When the doctor said the long, drawn out, technical name Felicity hadn't even flinched … But he said "cancer" and her whole world shifted. She was a veritable genius who faced living nightmares on a daily basis but a two syllable word turned everything upside down.

Her doctor then went on to explain that Felicity needed to schedule a follow up appointment with another round of tests within the next two days. Time was of the essence in this case – If caught early this form of the disease was treatable.

She tried to listen, she really did, but while a ball of lead seemed to be forming in her stomach she felt her vision tunnel and the air become thin. No one in her family had cancer before, well not that she knew of as her father's side of the family was more mystery than she cared to admit.

_Maybe she drank too much coffee … she read once somewhere that coffee raised her cancer risk by twenty percent … or maybe it decreased your cancer risk … Was it possible they had someone else's results? That kind of thing happened all the time, right? ... If they did mess up her results Oliver was going to be pissed … Oh God, Oliver. How was she supposed to tell him? _

Felicity's eyes began to water as she caught sight of Maddie pulling on Connor's arm as he tried to finish his homework. She had two kids, how was she supposed to tell them this?

Connor and Maddie both shifted to look at her causing Felicity to smile at them and make a face and gesture that the person on the other end was talking too much. Whenever Felicity took phone calls while they were in her office she would do most of the talking, she knew they knew that. Maddie laughed and Connor smiled at Felicity's antics, both oblivious as to what was being said on the other end of the line.

Once both children had turned back to their respective assignments, the moment of laughter forgotten, Felicity began answering the questions on the other end of the phone.

_Yes_, she could come in for an appointment tomorrow. _Yes_, she would like a second opinion (already anticipating Oliver's possible reaction). _Yes_, she would like a referral to an Oncological specialist in that area.

As her appointments were made and finalized, all for tomorrow and the day after, she hung up the phone. For three long minutes Felicity just watched both of her children as they worked on the floor of her office. Maddie had brought her coloring sheet over to Connor, who was now holding a magenta colored crayon while Maddie told him where to color.

She hadn't had enough time with them … either of them. Felicity had only been a step-mother to Connor for five months more than she had been a mother to Maddie (if you didn't count the pregnancy). She hadn't had enough time to be a mom to either child.

Felicity brought a hand up to cover her mouth as if that would stop the moisture she felt from welling in her eyes. She knew she couldn't cry in front of them, not now. She had to speak with Oliver first … She had to tell Oliver that things were about to change. How was Felicity supposed to tell him that she had cancer?

Maddie suddenly stood from her spot in turn breaking Felicity's line of thought before she toddled over to the doorway. Connor turned his attention to what had caught Maddie's eye and smiled when he saw his father come into the office with a wide smile on his face.

Felicity loved to watch the kids greet Oliver, and vice versa. It was such a change from his Green Arrow persona and she loved to see that change in him. There was a light quality to him when he was talking to Connor or reading a story to Maddie. It was as if the weight of the world was no longer solely on his shoulders and he could just be Oliver Queen.

"Ok, who's ready for dinner?" Oliver asked with flourish as he lifted Maddie into his arms.

"Can we get pizza?" Connor asked as he began packing his books into his bag.

Oliver looked as though he was thinking about it for a second before he used his spare arm to take hold of Connor's book bag while the younger boy began to pack Maddie's crayons. Maddie loved showering others with her affections and tended to hold them as tight as possible when they came home. Felicity knew that once Oliver came into the office Maddie wouldn't leave his arms willingly until they got to the car.

Felicity loved watching him with the kids. It made her heart feel full in a way that had always been foreign to her after coming from a less than affectionate home.

"I don't know, what do you say, Felicity?" Oliver asked his wife with a laugh.

"Hmm?" She asked, trying to place the conversation in her mind. "Oh, pizza…yeah, pizza sounds good." _Lie_, she thought to herself, she couldn't eat even if she was paid to.

Oliver noticed, of course he did.

As he held out his free arm for Connor to join him Oliver tipped his head in a silent question. Felicity merely gave him a watery smile, silently asking him to wait until later… after the kids were asleep. Oliver nodded his agreement in return.

So the Queen family left the building and picked up a large pizza, half pepperoni, half cheese on their way home.

Once Maddie was safely asleep in bed, and Connor was wearily reading his comic book in his room, Felicity and Oliver sat together in the kitchen of their modest home.

After they married, Oliver and Felicity decided against moving into the mansion and found a small home just a mile closer to Starling City on the same road as the Queen's former home. They had neighbors, a fence that Oliver kept promising he would paint one Saturday, and a tire swing in the backyard.

It was perfect, and home.

It also meant that conversations concerning adult matters couldn't be held until little ears were safely in bed.

"What did they say?" Oliver asked as he sat across from Felicity at the kitchen table breaking the silence as Felicity held onto the holiday, ceramic coffee mug that Connor got her last Christmas.

Felicity was relieved that Oliver seemed to know her so well. She didn't even have to say why her attitude had shifted after he dropped the kids off.

When he had left Connor and Maddie in her office she had seemed happy and Felicity like. If he had been able to stay she probably would have rambled on about the Applied Sciences Division and how their main competition was very close to signing a new clean energy contract that would cost Queen Consolidated millions to lose until she had swooped in and stole that client back to their side.

But she had been quiet and reserved- not at all like his wife. Felicity always had a smile playing at her lips when she was around the kids. To see her as she was now – her posture was slouched and closed off, her eyes kept glazing over as if she were in great thought – this wasn't Felicity.

Oliver had been worried since she told him about what had been happening with her lately, and even more worried that she hadn't seen a doctor sooner. He hadn't been lying when he told her he didn't know what he would do without her. These results had been at the forefront of his mind since she went to see the doctor.

"I have appointments set up for tomorrow and the day after, which you don't have to be there for, but they said that for some of them I may be a bit dopey after, something about dyes and injections, so I should have a ride-"

"I'll be there, " Oliver cut her off as he reached for and squeezed her delicate hand in his own. "What did they say?"

He saw her eyes begin to water and she tried to smile her way through it as if knowing was going to hurt him more than her. This wasn't supposed to happen to her, she was young and she did everything right with her health…ok so maybe her stress level could get a bit high, but everything else was perfect.

"It's cancer," Felicity whispered, hating the look that was already forming on Oliver's face. The tears were already beginning to form in his eyes as she squeezed his hand this time. "It's ok though," She tried. "I read an article while you were getting Maddie ready for bed and it said that if you get this kind early enough the survival rate is much higher. And that's what the tests are for tomorrow, to see if this is the good kind or the bad kind."

Oliver stood from his seat across the table, never letting go of her hands, and moved to the chair next to her. One of his hands let go of hers and wound its way around her neck to pull her closer to him so that she was looking in his eyes.

"It's really going to be ok," She told him in a tearful whisper as he leaned forward to kiss her forehead gently. "We're going to be ok."

That's how Connor found them a half hour later when he came to say his good nights. His father holding onto his step-mother tightly, Felicity's head buried in his father's t-shirt while his father seemed to be keeping his face close to Felicity's neck as he held onto the back of her head, occasionally running his hands down her back and then back up to her hair. Both looked as though they were holding on for dear life.

Connor took a step back from the kitchen to the direction of Maddie's room. He didn't know what was going on, or what was about to happen to his dad and Felicity, but he had a feeling that his baby sister was going to need her big brother to tell her that it was going to be ok.

**AN: Thank you for reading! I always welcome constructive feedback.**


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